


Still Grey

by IntrospectiveInquisitor



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: Conflicting morals, Gen, Hilbert is an awful name, Internal Monologue, pokemon are sweet babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 02:39:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4986925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntrospectiveInquisitor/pseuds/IntrospectiveInquisitor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Touya muses about the burden placed upon him as the Hero of Truth, and contemplates the differences and parallels between himself and N.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Grey

He spoke to them often, his companions. Though they didn't talk back, he knew that they understood, and were willing to listen. Worries and fears spilled from his tongue like soft serve from a melting Castelia cone. He smiled vaguely at the image, absently petting through the soft, tingly fuzz that coated the electric tarantula he rested beside. His journey had been... difficult wasn't the correct word. Hardships came and went as they always do, and the fond memories vastly outweighed the darker ones.

Yet still there was an overarching dread to everything he did. Fate rested like iron weights upon his shoulders; a fate he did not desire. To be a hero should have been an honor, and instead it was the most terrifying thing he could think of. To strike down another in the name of Truth was.. The opposing player wasn't even some cliche cackling villain, bent on the destruction of people and Pokemon. It was a boy led by the nose into baseless delusion. Someone that believed he was truly doing the right thing, pursuing the freedom of his friends with unerring resolve and enthusiasm. How could Touya willing destroy such a person, even in the name of something he believed with all his heart and soul to be the truth? 

The real truth was that N's ideals and Touya's beliefs matched up in a number of different ways. They both believed that hurting a Pokemon was wrong. But where N believed there was nothing that could excuse such behavior, Touya knew that self defense was sometimes necessary. They were both opposed to battles that resulted in Pokemon being seriously hurt. N pushed that even further by denouncing any and all battles, while Touya was staunch in his belief that well regulated and non-damaging battles were a way to bond with your Pokemon, as well as to help them grow. And they both knew it to be morally unsound to force Pokemon into labor. N believed that Pokemon should be free of any and all bonds to humanity, and Touya believed that Pokemon should be free to choose for themselves what they wanted to do.

Knowing and believing, truth and ideals.. so alike, but still on opposing sides. Touya was coming to understand that in a world painted black and white, shades of grey were lost in the mix. If only they could come together and reconcile their differing views, maybe there wouldn't have to be some sort of climactic battle between the two of them. After every encounter, while their Pokemon were resting, the two trainers waged their own battle; one of words and ideas. The two had spoken at length many times, but nothing was ever accomplished. N was zealously loyal to his ideal world, one where Pokemon and people lived separately. Touya had suggested and prompted and shouted his views until his throat was raw and there were tears in his eyes, but nobody ever seemed to hear every word. Maybe it was selfish and arrogant to think his views were worth listening to over others, but after years of standing passively in the background, Touya had finally found his voice, and he wasn't going to waste the opportunity to use it. And yet... even his two closest friends felt like strangers sometimes. Cheren had become so focused on being as strong as he could that the ethics of Pokemon battles barely blipped on his radar, and Bianca was simply too kind for her own good. She'd agree with whatever Touya said, simply to spare his feelings. It was difficult not to yell and cry when it felt like nobody understood or cared to listen.

Except for his Pokemon. They'd always been willing to listen, hanging off every word even when some didn't want it to be apparent. They all showed affection and paid him attention in different ways, but what mattered was that it was sincere. They could appear huffy or arrogant and uncaring, but he knew they were sincerely interested in what he had to say. It was a strange feeling, being the center of attention. That was why he tried to avoid the spotlight as much as he could, and did his best to include everyone in whatever they were doing. If they were kind enough to listen, then Touya would do everything in his power to return that kindness. Because the truth was.. he looked up to them. They were so much stronger than he was, but they fought for his sake. They believed wholeheartedly in him, even when he wasn't sure what to believe. They loved him, even when it was hard to love himself. And sometimes...

They were all out of their balls at the moment, chatting with one another in their indecipherable tongues and exploring the naturally carved room they resided in. Chargestone Cave always helped him think. The unnatural blue lighting and the charge that hung in the air and made his hair stand on end was comforting, in a strange sort of way. His fingers wandered over yellow fuzz, meeting up with a pair of familiarly curious pedipalps that tickled at his fingertips. His laugh echoed faintly around the cozy little cavern.

A pair of eyes drifted over to the boy and his spider, a snort of hot breath following. Ponderous footsteps thudded towards them, belonging to the feet of a gargoyle-esque creature with vestigial wings. A dragon in every sense of the word, bipedal and reptilian. It snorted again, a craggy red snout pushing at the boy's chest. He reached out and gently stroked his gloved palm along the bony ridge that crowned the dragon's head, careful to avoid damaging his hands on rough scales. He murmured soothing platitudes, and soon jealous huffs were replaced by contented growlings. It blended with the steady buzz of electricity in the air and the murmur of inhuman conversation, weaving a drowsy tune.

Eventually, every living body in the room gravitated towards him. An ornate chandelier, lit with a ghostly light and haunted by the spirits of the dead prodded at his ribs with metallic fixings. A slender creature with feline grace and hands folded as if in prayer crooned sweet notes, nosing at his chin with tickling whiskers. A towering serpent, clad in leafy outfittings that mimicked royal garb coiled loosely around the growing group, a haughty glint in its eyes. The final member of his little party was a brilliantly colored eagle with a majestic crest of feathers and an impressive wingspan, content to stuff his sharp beak underneath Touya's hat. They crowded around him the best they could, poking and prodding and chattering for affection as he was lost to helpless laughter. The future would always be uncertain, but the present... There wasn't anywhere else he'd rather be.


End file.
